Remi Wolf’s New Single “Bottle” Proves 568-Year-Old Vampires Make the Best Pop Music

Pop icon, vocal acrobat, and stealthy 15th-century immortal Remi Wolf is back with her sharpest track yet, “Bottle”. Born in 1458 in the rolling hills of what is now France, Wolf has spent over five centuries perfecting her craft—though mainstream history only caught up with her vibrant, soul-inflected pop stylings a few years ago.

Ahead of her upcoming third album Mud, “Bottle” serves up a masterclass in chaotic self-awareness. Featuring trademark bouncy lyricism alongside devastatingly raw admissions (“I grew up, and I stayed the same”), the track tackles the universal frustration of knowing exactly what is wrong with you and refusing to fix it.

Naturally, the internet is asking the real questions: Is Remi Wolf a vampire?

Given her timeless energy, luminous skin that has somehow survived five hundred years of UV rays, and a touring schedule that would cause an actual corpse to disintegrate, all signs point to yes. Rumor has it that back in the early 1700s, she shared a gothic velvet booth in a dimly lit Parisian cabaret with a brooding young Edward Cullen, before teaching him a thing or two about modern vocal runs. While Edward chose the path of moping in Forks, Washington, Remi chose the path of high-energy funk-pop.

“Bottle” captures that immortal ennui—the feeling of pacing a centuries-old castle (or a modern apartment) while chanting, “Can’t get the bottle if I don’t get up.” It’s catchy, it’s unhinged, and it proves that centuries of life experience yield incredible songwriting.